Fantasy Gazette

BIRMINGHAM, AL – Avid fantasy football player Caleb Wallace said on Thursday that he can fit “just one more” dynasty fantasy football league to his collection at this time. The newly-formed startup draft is being held this weekend.

“I was invited to my friend Tyler’s startup draft,” Wallace said. “I am already in about 18 dynasty leagues, but Tyler said he really needed one more. It’s not an addiction, I can stop whenever I want to.”

Wallace went on to boast that he landed the first overall pick through the league’s randomized process. He is excited to add his third “share” of superstar Kansas City QB Patrick Mahomes to his leagues. “I think I can also get Derrick Henry and DeAndre Hopkins on the next two picks. Oh, man, this is really coming together. Hey, do you guys know of any leagues with available spots?” said Wallace, beginning to sweat.

Wallace’s wife was asked about her husband’s newest league: “I know he really likes it. But he’s starting to twitch at the dinner table when thinking about who he wants to draft. I don’t really know much about fantasy football, but I try to stay supportive,” she said. According to her, Wallace was extremely tense when deciding what to do with his picks, telling her it might be “Laviska Shenault season,” but that she had no idea who that is or what he meant.

As the draft was inching nearer, Wallace had retreated to his home office to research more prospects and prepare for the draft – and was no longer available for comment.

At press time, Wallace has reportedly joined two more startup dynasty drafts scheduled for later this spring.