Pfizer Rolls Out “Rookie Fever” Vaccine

NEW YORK, NY – Pfizer officials announced Friday that they have successfully developed a vaccine for “Rookie Fever,” and fantasy football players will be given first priority.

Pfizer CEO Albert Bourla recognized that the yearly disease – which typically kicks in just before the NFL draft and through to training camp in the summer – is a serious issue. “Every year, even the most obscure rookies get drooled over before they even play a snap,” he said. “The odds that all these rookies reach their potential is unrealistic. The ADP of Trey Sermon was the final straw – we knew we had to do something.”

Rookie fever causes fantasy football players to overhype first-year NFL prospects, even ones drafted very late or not drafted at all. Pfizer officials and the CDC warn of the drastic turn the fever can take on fantasy leagues.

“It starts with overhyping early-round guys like Kadarius Toney as the ‘WR1,'” one official announced. “Then, all of a sudden you’re drafting Trey Sermon as your RB1 and taking undrafted rookies before proven vets. Before you know it, the fever takes over and 7th round draft selections are apparently going to all be amazing right away.”

Officials recommend all fantasy players come to grips with reality: a majority of rookies hardly make any fantasy football impact at all, and to get vaccinated immediately if you find yourself posting highlight videos of 7th-rounders, or ruining your dynasty rosters for additional late-round picks.

Fantasy Gazette recommends all fantasy players get your Rookie Fever vaccine and stay safe.

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