Fantasy Gazette

Jacksonville, FL – Sources to Fantasy Gazette confirmed Thursday Jaguars head coach Urban Meyer has brought in Colin Kaepernick to compete with Tim Tebow for the starting Tight End position.

“We love Timmy and what he has to offer…but we think adding Colin can really bring out the best in him. Kind of a, uh, light side vs dark side battle on the football field. Wait, that didn’t come out right,” said Meyer, who has drawn criticism lately for bringing in random former NFL players and shifting player’s positions, like RB Travis Etienne only taking WR snaps.

Both 33, Tebow and Kaepernick bring a ton of experience in having one singular NFL playoff run, just the Jaguars’ type. The two should be right at home in Jacksonville as they gear up for another season losing games. We attempted to find out how the two controversial figures felt about the brewing competition.

Tebow declined to comment when we asked for a statement in the middle of his post-minicamp prayer. Kaepernick just shouted “Wakanda Forever!” at one of our unpaid interns.

At press time, Meyer had apparently confirmed to bring in Johnny Manziel at wide receiver. “Yeah, we are totally pumped about Johnny Football. Guy was great at Texas A&M last year or whenever that was.”

As for fantasy football players, we recommend staying clear of this situation and praying hoping for a better TE in your drafts.

*Editor’s Note: Coach Meyer requests that no fans/attendees pray aloud or play the national anthem during any Jacksonville games this coming season.