BREAKING: You’re Too Low On This Player. BREAKING: You’re Too High On This Player. BREAKING: You’re Too Low On This Player. BREAKING: You’re Too High On This Player.

Reports from the fantasy football community this week have found that you, the reader, are too low in your valuation of Falcons WR Calvin Ridley. This comes after the news Sunday that Julio Jones has been traded to Tennesse-

Wait. Hang on.

In a breaking new update, it appears you are now too high in your viewing of Ridley. He will likely be great for fantasy football this fall, but your expectations are just a little outlandish and should stop immediatel-

We have breaking news.

Upon your new feelings about the Falcons stud WR, analysts have gasped at your low viewing of Ridley, and you need to put him higher in your rankings. I mean, come on man, seriously? We are talking about a top-5 fantasy wide receiver here! Julio won’t steal any of his targets now! What more do you expec-

Attention Reader:

Due to your new astronomically-high projections because of what we just told you, fantasy analysts have determined you are once again too high on Ridley, and need to calm down. He’s going to get double-teamed more, don’t you know that?

I hope this article has shown you that you are too high on Calvin Ridley, and should stop it right now. Wait, you’re dropping him again? Now you’re too low. Geez, dude, are you kidding with this? Do you even know how good he is? Draft him earlier than that! Stop complicating this.

In conclusion, please stop playing fantasy football and evaluating these players so we can get back to playing the simple game of fantasy football. By the way, you are too low on Kyle Pitts.

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