Whoops: Colorblind Fantasy Player Accidentally Drafts A.J. Green Instead Of A.J. Brown
Monthly Archives: July 2021
Breaking: NFL Will NOT Suspend Players With Sexual Assault Allegations As Long As 80% Of Victims Are Vaccinated
With sexual assault allegations and COVID-19 vaccines dominating NFL headlines, Roger Goodell announced Friday the league is taking serious action. The NFL will be operating by what they have dubbed “the 80/20 rule.” It states that no players will be suspended for sexual charges as long as at least 80% of the alleged victims are fully vaccinated against coronavirus.** As
Read moreDamn: Your Favorite Sleeper Pick Is Suddenly Getting Tons Of Love And Attention
Sources confirmed this week that your favorite “sleeper” player, who you were sure would fall in drafts and you could get at a discount, is now being praised by podcast, analysts, and just about everyone. Bummer for you. Despite the fact that you saw a blip on data that pointed towards an upward trend for 2021, it appears that The
Read moreFantasy Player Who Sucks At Setting His Weekly Lineups Cries Tears Of Joy Upon Discovering “Best Ball” Format
SALT LAKE CITY, UT – A local fantasy football player was elated with joy when he discovered a brilliant, low-maintenance new way to play fantasy football: Best Ball. “This is a game-changer,” he said. “My life-altering fear of making tough decisions has caused me excruciating pain my entire life from calling off a wedding with three different women and fantasy
Read moreDynasty Owner Of Jonathan Taylor Devastated Upon Learning His 30th Birthday Only 8 Years Away
Local dynasty player Madeline Cooper was reportedly “shaking” and “in shambles” after a quick Google search of “Jonathan Taylor age” led her to discover the star running back’s 30th birthday is rapidly approaching, and will be here in eight years. “I drafted JT with my 1.03 rookie pick last year, and it was going well for a while,” Cooper said.
Read moreOpinion: We Need More Men In The Fantasy Football Industry
Madison, WI – Listen up snowflakes, it’s time to face the music. There are simply not enough men in the fantasy football industry.! You and I love this game, and we need to amplify men’s voices, Amen?! Back in my day, we used to pull ourselves up by our bootstraps, vote Republican, not watch so much TV, and throw rocks
Read more‘Awesome! A Pro Athlete I Don’t Have In Fantasy Football Got Severely Injured!’ Says Local Man Who Needs A Swift Kick To Balls
DENVER, CO – A local man who really needs to get kicked in the balls went on record today that he was very happy a NFL player he didn’t have in fantasy football got injured, putting the player’s career in jeopardy as well as his overall health and well-being as a human being. “Hell yeah, man! I NEVER wanted to
Read moreSurprising New Study Reveals Women Just As Likely As Men To Have Internet Fantasy Football Addiction
Contrary to popular belief, some recent really big official studies show that women are also at high risk for becoming addicted to internet fantasy football (IFF) along with men. In years past, it was widely accepted that only males were susceptible to IFF addiction but with the dawn of the computer age and with unlimited easy access, it seems more
Read moreInconsiderate Douchebag In Slow Draft On The Clock For Over Two Entire Minutes
AKRON, OH – Sources confirmed a member of a local draft has now been “on the clock” for over two entire minutes…and counting. League members are reportedly in a violent frenzy. “This is bullshit,” said one league member. “I mean, what is more important right now than this draft? I don’t give a singular care if this guy’s got kids
Read moreBaby Conceived After Huge DFS Win Named In Honor Of Father’s Winning Players
A newborn baby boy from Milwaukee, WI has received quite the name as a tribute to his father’s recent fantasy football success. A product of unprotected celebratory sex between lifelong Milwaukee residents Derrick and Kendra Jeffreys in early October, Alvin Stefon JuJu David Montgomery Colts Defense Younghoe Jeffries was welcomed into the world – exactly nine months after his father
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