‘Awesome! A Pro Athlete I Don’t Have In Fantasy Football Got Severely Injured!’ Says Local Man Who Needs A Swift Kick To Balls

DENVER, CO – A local man who really needs to get kicked in the balls went on record today that he was very happy a NFL player he didn’t have in fantasy football got injured, putting the player’s career in jeopardy as well as his overall health and well-being as a human being.

“Hell yeah, man! I NEVER wanted to draft him at his ADP, so I have zero shares. Super pumped for him to be significantly injured and likely in a depressed state. Oh, and guess what? Yep, I own his backup in several leagues.”

Many leaguemates of the local asshole chimed in following the shocking report.

“Yes, I’d very much like to kick him directly in the balls,” said one leaguemate.

“Balls, for sure,” said a local woman when we asked where he needs kicked.

“Without question, I’d prefer to take my foot and make an upward swinging motion, connecting heavily and with great force to this guy’s scrotum,” said another passerby.

It remains to be seen what drove the local man to gallantly celebrate a grown man being severely injured playing a sport they both love because it has a minimal impact on his hypothetical football team of other grown men risking injury for the man’s entertainment and monetary gain. All we know is he needs to be kicked directly in the balls.

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