Fantasy Gazette

Madison, WI – Listen up snowflakes, it’s time to face the music. There are simply not enough men in the fantasy football industry.! You and I love this game, and we need to amplify men’s voices, Amen?!

Back in my day, we used to pull ourselves up by our bootstraps, vote Republican, not watch so much TV, and throw rocks at Mrs. Schwartz’ house on the way home from school. Fantasy football may not have existed at all back then, but we certainly would’ve kicked all these ladies and sissy boys out. Some of them give brilliant advice but that’s not important right now.

It seems like 1 out of every 20 fantasy football analysts I see are women, SOMETIMES MORE. Unacceptable. Where are all the men?! I’ve had enough,,,

This week, I listned to what milenals call a “pod” cast. Some lady who has NEVER even played football (she shouldn’t either – her husband would think that is gross) gave some excellent points on Quarterback rankings and was well-spoken and extremely bright. BUT- I wasn’t paying attention at all so I don’t know what she said !

Time to make this thing a boys club like it used to be. I will be starting a league this season called “Make Fantasy Great Again” if anyone wants to join – NO SISSIES are welcome. They didn’t go to Vietnam like I almost did back in the day.