Fantasy Gazette

BRISTOL, CT – ESPN officials announced Wednesday that taunting, trash talk, or any unsportsmanlike conduct on the ESPN Fantasy Football app will result in a fine of up to $15 ‘FAAB,’ or Free Agent Acquisition Budget, dollars.

“We take taunting on fantasy football apps very seriously,” said Alberto Riveron, Senior VP of officiating. “Following a big play by your player, any message you send your opponent could result in a loss of FAAB, waiver priority, or points. We’ve classified the following chat messages as unacceptable and able to be fined:

‘Suck it’

‘Take that’

‘[Player’s Name] SZN’

‘L’

Riveron continued to the more serious emoji usage. “We’ve also deemed the following emojis as detrimental to the game and will not be allowed:

Peace Sign emoji

Turd emoji

Crown emoji

Trophy emoji

Winky Face with Tongue Out emoji

“We want to encourage fun and professionalism above all else,” said Matthew Berry, who hosts a show with puppets in it. “That’s what fantasy football is about: fun, scoring, winning, but not any of the emotion that comes with sweet victory that makes you want to scream in your opponents’ face about how much of a dumbass they are for losing to your team. Go get ’em!”

At press time, other fantasy apps (like Sleeper and Yahoo) announced they would also dole out fines for disrespectful chat messages that made people feel bad after they got robbed in a trade.