NFL Announces Conferences Will Now Be Divided By Vaccination Status

Commissioner Roger Goodell announced Thursday a groundbreaking new shift for the NFL – for the first time in decades, the AFC and NFC will be no more. The two conferences will now be split up by the players’ COVID-19 vaccination status.

Starting in 2021, the VFC (Vaccinated Football Conference) and UFC (Un-Vaccinated Football Conference) will split down the middle. All 16 teams on each side must completely fill their rosters with appropriate players. The mad scramble for players will undoubtedly be chaotic, but at least it separates the NFL in the best way possible, and Cole Beasley can shine as a team’s WR1.

Now, the NFL and fans can rest assured the players for one conference are government-controlled zombies who can’t think for themselves and the other conference’s players are barbaric lunatics whose refusal to get a fancy new flu shot will jeopardize the future of the universe.

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