Sheboygan, WI – A story too good to be true. Local NFL fanatic and avid fantasy player Matthew Schmidt checked his iPhone’s “screen time” and recorded a new personal low for a NFL Sunday: a mere 11 hours and 38 minutes. Way to go, Matthew! A feat he, his wife Katherine, and once-a-week neglected child Braylen were happy to celebrate
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Troy, OH – Local self-proclaimed DFS “expert” Curtis West woke up Sunday morning with a groundbreaking thought: ‘I’ve got to get Keenan Allen in my WR1 spot, not Justin Jefferson!’ West was entering in a sports betting app’s million-dollar prize competition, and had been relentlessly searching statistics, matchups, and injuries to get *just* the right lineup that will win him
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Sources to Fantasy Gazette have confirmed that all your fantasy football players are currently injured. It remains to be seen how you’ll react to this, what you’ll do on waiver wire moves, or what next week will bring, but we felt it was best you knew about all your players simultaneously going down with a wide range of injuries. There
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WASHINGTON D.C. – “It’s about damn time,” said local Football Team Fan Keith Carlson. “Why would I watch Tampa Bay play Dallas? Yuck. Give me the Jacksonville’s and Houston’s of the world. What’s that? Washington, my favorite team, is playing? Wonderful. Oh, and we lost our fan-favorite Quarterback just in time for the Thursday game, too? Excellent. Ah, back to
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There really isn’t much to this story. Just a local Houston guy was gonna “kablooie” himself with a revolver he bought at the corner store cause the Texans are so bad and the coaching staff is awful and their star quarterback is a sex offender and whatnot. Anyways, they won a game so he told us he’s gonna wait one
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TAMPA, FL – Following a lackluster game on Thursday Night Football, the 2021 NFL season opener, superstar wideout Mike Evans’ reputation is now in shambles, reports have confirmed. An extremely rare breed of athlete, Evans has put together a remarkable 7 consecutive seasons with at least 1,000 yards. Hardly any player can claim that amount of high-level production for that
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BRISTOL, CT – Fantasy football celebrity and pioneer Matthew Berry and ESPN announced Wednesday “The Fantasy Show” is undergoing a major change. “We looked at our demographic of fully grown men who love professional football and asked ourselves what they wanted more of,” Berry said in a personal video to fans. “The overwhelming answer was more puppets. We are going
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Washington (FG) – President Joe Biden presented the United States army with a new challenge following the removal of all American troops from Afghanistan: rebuild and stabilize the Houston Texans’ NFL franchise. “My fellow Americans, the war in Afghanistan is over,” President Biden said at the White House, triumphantly. “However, the battle in Houston to get this poverty franchise just
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