Thursday Night Football Triumphantly Returns To Tradition Of Showing Awful Games As Washington Takes On New York

WASHINGTON D.C. – “It’s about damn time,” said local Football Team Fan Keith Carlson. “Why would I watch Tampa Bay play Dallas? Yuck. Give me the Jacksonville’s and Houston’s of the world. What’s that? Washington, my favorite team, is playing? Wonderful. Oh, and we lost our fan-favorite Quarterback just in time for the Thursday game, too? Excellent. Ah, back to the good ol’ days where Thursday Nights meant two uninteresting, mundane NFL franchises squaring off for a weird 18-11 finish or something. I was way too thrown off when last Thursday I had to watch playoff contenders take it down to the wire. Yeah, this is more my tempo. Can’t wait for Daniel Jones to throw 5 picks on Thursday night, just like normal.”
The NFL promised the days of Buccaneers v. Cowboys are long gone, and fans can expect bottom dweller programs play someone from the AFC South team on Thursdays once again. Huzzah!