Fantasy Gazette

CHICAGO, IL – Eat your heart out, Jon Gruden. Packers QB Aaron Rodgers has been suspended for the remainder of the 2021 season for his egregious language following a touchdown on Sunday in Chicago.

After scrambling to his right and sliding through the side of the end zone towards the stands, Rodgers was audibly heard saying he “owns” and “has always owned” the Chicago Bears and their fans. Woah there, Mr. Discount Double Check. This isn’t the 1800’s. We don’t own people. YIKES. Can I get an amen? I’ll say it louder for the people in the back. People 👏 are 👏 not 👏 OWNED. Can we NOT normalize this toxic manifested toxicity?

Rodgers clearly supports ownership of other human beings in every form and his failure to say he has always “rostered” or “managed” the Bears entire organization will sideline him the rest of the season. ESPN, Sleeper, Yahoo, and others joined together to announce that Rodgers’ career fantasy points will now be all zero.

At press time, Rodgers had addressed the media saying that he also meant to yell to the fans that he’s their literal God. The press chuckled and admitted they couldn’t stay mad at him. However, it was too late. See you next season, Aaron!