New App Will Alert You When Members Of Your Family Are Upset At You For Watching Too Much Football

A groundbreaking new smartphone app has been designed to give the user alerts when people near them (spouses, kids, loved ones, pets, coworkers, etc) are upset with them for the amount of time they’re spending watching NFL football, playing fantasy football, or gambling their children’s college tuition on any number of “surefire” parlays.

The new app uses infrared technology to sensor angry flares, folded arms, loud sighs, and sarcasm to alert you that someone needs your attention – and they think of themselves as more important than deciding between a couple wide receivers for your flex spot.

“This app caught it right away,” said local woman Ashleigh Thompson. “My husband was I guess a little ticked off I hadn’t done the dishes since week 1 kicked off. This app let me know he thought that was a problem. I managed to get half done before it was time to submit my DFS lineup last week. Talk about a lifesaver!”

Other users reported the app reminding them they had spent over 11 consecutive hours on the couch managing rosters and watching games without remembering to feed their children. “The app told me my kid wanted a grilled cheese! How genius is this?” said Tim Donahue. “He looked like he was going to pass out from exhaustion after I made him get me several beers from the upstairs refrigerator. Got him food just in time! What a great new app.”

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