Newsflash, NFL fans. John Madden’s death is super sad and stuff, but is he really for the non-white community? After all, he didn’t stop me just now when I yelled racial slurs through my gaming headset at someone who beat me in a game of Madden 22. Yikes, John. Do better. After I scored a touchdown to go up 4
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Memphis, TN – A local fantasy football semifinalist was in a “great mood” Monday morning, reportedly realizing all his team needs to advance within his league’s playoffs is a 8-fumble game from one of the best players in the National Football League. A summer’s worth of draft preparation and a four-month long strategy to put together the best statistical fantasy
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I eliminated one of my good friends from our fantasy league’s playoffs this past weekend, but apparently not without some “b.s. (bullshit)” involved. Here’s the top 5 reasons my win didn’t count according to him: 1. He didn’t set his lineup correctly. Apparently, he was busy every moment through the entire week all the way up until 1:00 on Sunday
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Tampa, FL – Following a bizarre and embarrassing outing for the Buccaneers in a 0-9 shutout loss at the hands of the Saints, sources confirmed Tom Brady only gave his son a firm, cold goodnight handshake following the defeat. “Obviously not what I was expecting after brushing my teeth and having all my homework finished before Christmas break,” Jack Brady
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NEW YORK – Roger Goodell met with the media in a surprise press conference Friday to address the state of the NFL with over 100 players now on the Reserve/Covid list. Goodell made it abundantly clear to reporters that the games will continue to be played unless “significantly better players than this puny list start getting sick.” Goodell adjusted a
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Netflix’s new NFL movie “Home Team,” which depicts Saints head coach Sean Payton coaching his son’s PeeWee team while suspended from the NFL, has been making waves around the internet. Mostly for one controversial scene: Payton, played by Kevin James, ordering a bounty on an opposing team’s star 11-year-old quarterback. In the official trailer, Payton’s son’s team is down 25-7
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Sacramento, CA – Gazette sources confirmed fantasy football star Jacob Blackmon is now week-to-week with what his physician has diagnosed as carpal tunnel. This could prove to be a brutal blow to the 11-2 fantasy team. “I had been aggressively researching players, tinkering with my lineup, scouring waivers, and proposing trades all season. I guess it just caught up to
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Boston, MA – My name is Richard Jeffries and Mac Jones is my fantasy team’s quarterback. As of Monday night, I have a new opinion I’m really passionate about: Quarterbacks should receive points for handing the ball off. I had not felt this way until Monday night’s game when Mac Jones handed off 46 times and threw the ball just
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Cambrige, MA – Professor Matthew “Math Addict” Townsend, a brilliant mathematics professor at MIT, reached a critical breakthrough in front of his Calculus students Tuesday, correctly correlating a realistic path for his 3-10 fantasy football team to make the playoffs. “Students, put away your textbooks, shut up, and watch this right here,” said Townsend. “You’re about to witness math history.
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Fantasy Gazette 