Fantasy Gazette

Memphis, TN – A local fantasy football semifinalist was in a “great mood” Monday morning, reportedly realizing all his team needs to advance within his league’s playoffs is a 8-fumble game from one of the best players in the National Football League. A summer’s worth of draft preparation and a four-month long strategy to put together the best statistical fantasy football team now comes down to whether or not his opponent’s running back will fumble on all 8 carries he receives without gaining a single yard, catch, or anyone on the coaching staff noticing the 8 fumbles.

Despite the fact nearly all NFL running backs are likely benched following a second fumble, let alone a nearly-unheard-of third, the local man was in high spirits that the lone player he’s facing will fumble an egregious eight times, allowing his fantasy football team a long-awaited journey to the title game.

“It’s actually possible when you think about it,” the future eliminated man said. “The opposing team’s rush defense is top 15 in the NFL, and they’ve forced a bunch of fumbles this year. All it will take is a good ole ‘punch’ technique a NFL-record eight times and bada bing bada boom, I am home free.”