If John Madden Was So Great, How Come He Just Let Me Use Racial Slurs After I Lost At His Video Game?
Newsflash, NFL fans. John Madden’s death is super sad and stuff, but is he really for the non-white community? After all, he didn’t stop me just now when I yelled racial slurs through my gaming headset at someone who beat me in a game of Madden 22. Yikes, John. Do better.
After I scored a touchdown to go up 4 with a minute to go, my opponent marched down the field using the same play six times in a row, scoring with no time left. I lost, and yelled several racial obscenities at my opponent. I didn’t see good ole John Madden anywhere around to stop me. This further perpetuates the microaggressions and non-normalized manifestations of toxic energy through the myopic lens of my own self-actualization…wait, hang on, I forgot where I was going with this…
Either way, John Madden is a complete racist and should be cancelled for letting me use my extensive and racially-motivated slurs at all the people I’ve ever lost to through my years of Madden.
What’s even worse, he doesn’t care about concussions! The other day, my younger brother Andy beat me 56-45 in Madden, and I sent my PS5 controller straight at his skull. The impact concussed him. Great job, John Madden. Yet another poor defenseless kid who temporarily forgot what his name was. Who knows if my brother will have CTE now? This is the seventh time I sent a video game controller careening straight at his dome after a Madden loss, and I don’t see that stopping anytime soon. Who’s to blame? Madden. We are better than this people. It’s 2021 after all.