Fantasy Gazette

NEW YORK, NY – Giants president and CEO John Mara was at the center of attention Tuesday when reports surfaced that Brian Flores was suing the NFL because the Giants gave him a “sham” interview for head coach when they had already selected Brian Daboll. Mara stood firm that the Giants were not being racist in their actions because they also weren’t considering Adam Gase, sources say.

“Racist? Give me a break,” said Mara. “We took Adam Gase, the whitest guy I’ve ever seen, to a freakin’ Red Lobster for his interview. You think we were gonna hire him?! Flores wasn’t the only guy we pretended to be interested in.” Gase, who we confirmed was white via a Bing search, apparently wasn’t part of their plans. He wasn’t alone either. “Hell, Bill O’Brien got an interview with us too and we just played Madden with him for a couple hours. I’m pretty sure we didn’t even ask him what his top 3 strengths and weaknesses are. See, not racist!”

Further damaging the Giants case were damning texts from Bill Belichick, spilling the secret that the Giants had already chosen Daboll by the time Flores was interviewed. Belichick, who called the texts “SMS messages,” said he stands by Mara’s claim that they pseudo-interviewed some terrible white candidates. “The Giants also took [Josh] McDaniels and his family out to Panera Bread and then just chatted about the weather and weekend plans for a good 15 minutes before telling him they were going in another direction,” Belichick told reporters.

Flores’ lawsuit is looming large over the NFL’s head. These new reports that the Giants weren’t considering Adam Gase and some other unqualified white guys might just clear their name. What do you think? Let us know in the comments.