Opinion: After Tonight, Joe Burrow Is Either The Next Tom Brady Or Should Quit The NFL Forever Because He’s Ass

Los Angeles, LA – Jackson Johnson, an up-and-coming sportswriter, podcast host, and social media personality, announced that following the end of Super Bowl 56 tonight, Bengals QB Joe Burrow is either the next Tom Brady, or should quit forever for being so ass at the sport of football, sources confirmed.

“Yeah, it’s pretty simple.” Johnson said. “Either Burrow is a joke and the Bengals wasted their draft pick on him, or he’s a lock for the Hall of Fame. There’s simply no other option for the young gunslinger. I’ve been watching ESPN talking heads and scrolling my feed all day. Everyone’s in agreement with me. If Burrow gets his first ring, we can put him in the Montana, Brady, Aikman class of superstar. If he loses? Put him in the Matt Ryan, Rex Grossman, and Patrick Mahomes tier of god-awful quarterbacks.”

Sources confirmed that Johnson was excited to hop on his late-night podcast following the big one tonight and make inflammatory statements to drive Twitter engagement and hopefully land a shot with PFF, ESPN, or another major social media company to make exaggerated statements and rile up the masses.

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