Fantasy Gazette

Little Rock, AR – Local man and self-proclaimed Malik Willis “superfan” Jordan Belmont was enjoying a night out at Buffalo Wild Wings with his buddies and talking about the upcoming NFL Draft when a friend asked Belmont to name 3 of his favorite throws by Liberty QB Malik Willis, who was on Belmont’s t-shirt that very moment.

“What?” he responded nervously.

“Yeah, you know, you’re always saying Willis is the best quarterback in this rookie class,” the friend asked. “Which of his passes impressed you the most? Do you have a favorite? I just want to know 3. Unless…you can’t.”

“Uh…of course I can! Yeah, there’s, um, let’s see…” he began, unable to recall any single highlight of the quarterback that he just a few minutes ago claimed could make the Hall of Fame. “There’s almost so many highlights I’ve seen to even narrow it down. Did you see him launch that ball 60 yards in shorts? It was all over the internet.”

Belmont’s friends were unimpressed at the lack of knowledge he had on his favorite upcoming rookie quarterback and began to press harder, knowing his only opinions were talking heads on ESPN and fantasy analysts who praised the quarterback’s mobility and dual-threat prospects for fantasy football.

“I’m pretty sure I saw him throw a touchdown on ESPN when they were previewing the draft, so there’s 2 throws I really liked. Anyway, he’s totally a Konami code QB, probably the next Lamar Jackson! He even went to Louisville,” he confidently and incorrectly stated. Willis of course attended Liberty University, which the man was unable to recall despite the fact Willis was the screensaver on his iPhone. Belmont doubled down harder, reminding his friends that he owned the first overall pick in their dynasty draft, and was going to select Malik Willis, riding him to multiple championships and dozens of dollars in profits despite not being able to name just 3 passes he liked from the quarterback.

At press time, the Willis superfan began touting Breece Hall as his favorite running back in the class, despite having not watched a single second of tape or looking up stats on the player he thought was a rookie from Alabama.