Perfectly Healthy Man Completes 39th Mock Draft

Somewhere Online, USA – NFL superfan Jesse Montoya was pleased to announce via social media he completed his 39th personal mock draft ahead of Thursday Night.

“Yeah, this is definitely the one,” he said. “I was up all night studying the Eagles’ draft strategy for the last 15 years and went through Bill Belichick’s trading tendencies, which I almost forgot to do like an IDIOT.”

Montoya had carefully pinpointed every team’s likely selection and comprised calculations and roster possibilities nearly 40 times, a crucial thing to do when you’re healthy and there’s nothing wrong with you at all. He also has over $950 in pools and draft prop bets, which is $150 more than the rent he didn’t pay yet for April.

At press time, Montoya dove back in for mock draft #40, neglecting his now-filled-with-mold shower and an email that he had been fired from Quizno’s for not coming to work for 3 straight weeks.

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