Fantasy Gazette

Dynasty, also known as the Marvel Cinematic Universe of fantasy football platforms (it never ends and it consumes you), is sweeping the nation. Avid FF players are beginning to migrate, which means sharp players must make moves that benefit their rosters long-term to gain an edge. Here are the 10 things you need to know if you want to play Dynasty.

1: Situation Matters

Since the NFL is a team sport, consider who they play with. Most players play with the same teammates their entire career, like Texans WR Brandin Cooks. If a receiver has a bad quarterback, they’ll be stuck with them forever.

2: Use The Past To Determine The Future

Since you keep your team year-over-year, consider what’s happened in the past when planning ahead. Players that were injured in the past will get injured again, and players that haven’t missed games won’t. It’s always that simple!

3: The Age Factor

Trade away your 26-year-olds for 25-year-olds.

4: Draft Picks Don’t Score Points

The guys in your league hoarding stupid and useless first-round picks are going to be so jealous when your all-in gamble for the title ends in a third-place finish and you get your $20 league entry back.

#5: The Addiction Is Coming

We probably should have started off with this, but one dynasty league quickly turns into 20 or more. Cherish your final moments of freedom.

6: Trade Down In The Startup

It can be tempting to land fun-to-watch superstars like Josh Allen or Ja’Marr Chase with your first pick, but the analysis says you should trade back for Kirk Cousins, James Conner, and Jakobi Meyers – which will earn your team an extra 2.06 expected fantasy points per game. Trust us, we do these moves all the time and have way less fun as a result.

7: She Left

Your dynasty addiction landed you in the middle of simultaneous trade negotiations for your 19th, 4th, and 13th dynasty leagues when your wife finished packing up. It’s okay, champ, happens to all of us – and part of the game! By the way, you’re on the clock in that new startup we joined this morning. Don’t mean to pry, but it’s been a couple hours and we’re all waiting.

8: Use Caution With Trade Calculators

Trade Calculators are tools of pure evil and deception invented by Satan that are used to guilt and/or otherwise harass you into accepting bad trade offers.

9: Draft For Value, Trade For Need

What’s that, you need a RB2? Have you tried shutting up and not being such a dummy? Savvy dynasty players draft for value and trade for need. If Superflex or TEP, have no less than 8 quarterbacks and tight ends each. Don’t even roster a running back, that’s like Dynasty 101, didn’t even think I had to say that. My goodness, you’re dull in the head.

Anyway, in the middle of the season, someone will be so desperate to field another QB or TE you can snag like six running backs and wide receivers for your dynamic duo of Davis Mills and Cole Kmet.

10: Did You Just Hear Her Car Door?

Nope.