Bills Beat Writer “Guarantees” Gabriel Davis Will Have 118 Catches For 1,490 yards and 20 Touchdowns This Season

Buffalo, NY – James McIntyre, a 23-year-old part-time sports columnist at The Buffalo Inquirer, stated that Bills’ WR Gabriel Davis is primed to go off in 2022, claiming Davis will “like, for sure have exactly 118 catches, 1,490 yards, and 20 touchdowns this year.” McIntyre also added that he “guarantees” and “promises” it will happen.

“Davis was Josh Allen’s favorite target in minicamp today,” read the intro to McIntyre’s column. “He targeted him on 5 out of 20 throws, more than Stefon Diggs, who got all of the first 4 targets and then got to rest for the day.”

We needed to know more about the source, since using beat writers’ exaggerated claims for attractive headlines would be irresponsible and never happens in the fantasy football industry.

McIntyre earns $9.50 an hour with no health benefits at the Inquirer, but qualifies as a legitimate beat writer because his boss makes him go to all the minicamps and practices, he told us. McIntyre also plays Madden football a couple times a week and is in a few fantasy football leagues.

He also let slip he rosters Davis in every league.

“I probably shouldn’t mention I also went to UCF and lived down the hall from Gabe,” McIntyre said. “But every time I look at my fantasy team and need to boost an old friend’s value, I just keep increasing my projections for him. Is that bad?”

McIntyre concluded his stat projections come from a mix of 7-on-7 drills, gut feelings, and the box score from last year’s playoff shootout with the Kansas City Chiefs. “I look at every game Davis did well, and then I imagine scenarios in my head where he does that all the time, and I just kinda roll with that. That’s my process. So here goes nothing: I pinky promise Davis is an absolute unit every single game this year. Look! He just caught another pass without pads on and no defenders! Just picture that happening 118 times this fall. Just do it, okay? It’s easy. And if anyone wants to trade me some 1st round picks for Gabe my DMs are open on Sleeper.”

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