Fantasy Gazette

Disgraced Falcons WR Calvin Ridley has been suspended an additional season after leaks revealed he placed a large wager on the final outcome of Deshaun Watson’s trial and suspension.

Ridley said he was “fully confident” the Browns new superstar Quarterback, whose allegations of sexual assault neared almost 30 (!!!) women, would get less than he did following a $1,500 parlay on FanDuel.

“After I got suspended for the entire upcoming season for submitting a parlay while injured, I figured Watson would get at least as many games as I did. The line was set at 17.5 games, so I went to MGM, DraftKings, and had a friendly wager with Michael Jordan it would hit the over. As of this morning, I am out over fifty thousand dollars.”

Commissioner Roger Goodell said the actions taken today were necessary to ensure future compliance and send a message the NFL would not tolerate that kind of behavior.

“We cannot have our players misrepresenting our league and ruining the integrity of our game,” Goodell said. “I have suspended Mr. Ridley another full year for wagering on my beloved Deshaun’s silly little court thing. I don’t care where Mr. Watson has placed his hands, but I’m sure glad Ridley’s won’t be on any footballs any time soon.”

“Also me and Kraft had a little side bet on the under.”

At press time, Ridley was remorseful over his actions and headed to a local Atlanta parlor for a relaxing massage, but was quickly denied service when terrified employees learned he played in the National Football League.