Fantasy Gazette

Los Angeles, CA – Not long into Cooper Kupp’s monster 2021 performance, reports came out that the star receiver and his new quarterback had been hanging out and having breakfast together every day. The extra quality time clearly paid off, as Kupp became the latest “triple crown” winner, leading the league in receptions, receiving yards, and receiving touchdowns.

But that could all come crashing down. According to sources, Stafford has been spending plenty of time with Allen Robinson, the Rams’ newest addition to the receiving corps.

After a great training camp session, a party at Sean McVay’s house led to the two hooking up for the first time. Stafford and Robinson were reportedly feeding each other s’mores over a campfire and holding hands throughout the evening. Players around them are exciting for the new romance and the new statistical barriers they might shatter this upcoming year. Except for Cooper Kupp, that is.

Kupp told us the following: “Matty Bear has been late to our breakfast dates and emotionally distant. He’s been giggling at his phone all the time while texting some whore,” he said. “I can’t believe he’d just throw away the on-field romance we had together.”

At press time, Kupp left a strongly-worded handwritten breakup note in Stafford’s locker room that ended with the following: “Good luck throwing to that SKANK on third down. No Longer Yours, Coop.”