Fantasy Gazette

Arizona Cardinals: How do Kyler Murray, Marquise Brown, and Rondale Moore plan to see each other over the offensive line?

Atlanta Falcons: Which quarterback will make you regret drafting Kyle Pitts in the 3rd round?

Baltimore Ravens: How many players will tear their ACL by the end of September this year?

Buffalo Bills: Is Gabriel Davis amazing? Does he suck? Seriously, someone please tell me. I can’t take this torment anymore, the voices in my head are getting louder. I hear screams.

Carolina Panthers: When Baker Mayfield starts launching desperate longballs every dropback in an effort to prove himself to his haters and the city of Cleveland instead of checking down, can Christian McCaffrey maintain his PPR value?

Chicago Bears: Is being alive to suffer? How can a loving God cause such agony?

Cincinnati Bengals: Who Dey? Haha, just kidding. At what point in the Super Bowl hangover year do Bengals fans realize they’re probably never make it back to the big game? Also, will Burrow die behind that o-line?

Cleveland Browns: Why did you do it?

Dallas Cowboys: How long does Ezekiel Elliott get a pass for 9 carry, 35 yard games as long as he trips into the endzone half the time? I swear if Najee Harris had his stats you’d want his head on a pike.

Denver Broncos: Broncos Country, let’s ride?

Detroit Lions: Lions running backs are typically bad. Does D’Andre Swift even crack 300 total yards on the year?

Green Bay Packers: Which WR does Aaron Rodgers passively-aggressively target way too much instead of Christian Watson as some sort of weird subliminal middle finger to the team’s front office?

Houston Texans: Who do they pick #1 overall in the 2023 NFL Draft?

Indianapolis Colts: Can Jonathan Taylor’s dominant run style propel them to the next level? (A loss in the Wild Card round)

Jacksonville Jaguars: Does last year’s upset win over Buffalo make them the AFC favorite?

Kansas City Chiefs: Did you know Josh Gordon is on this team?

Las Vegas Raiders: Which former NFL player, Hunter Renfrow or Darren Waller, will be responsible for getting Mr. Davante Adams his moist towelette and refreshing sports drink during timeouts this season?

Los Angeles Chargers: What brand-new and tragic way to miss the playoffs will the Chargers invent this season?

Los Angeles Rams: Did Allen Robinson get an invite to breakfast this year?

Miami Dolphins: After watching a slightly underthrown ball back in June, do we – the fantasy football community – believe Tua Tagovailoa will be able to complete a single pass this entire season?

Minnesota Vikings: Is this the year Irv Smith overtakes Justin Jefferson as the alpha pass catcher?

New England Patriots: The Tom Brady role is up for grabs in Foxborough. Is Bailey Zappe up to the task?

New Orleans Saints: Will Jameis Winston give in and call Michael Thomas “Slant Man?”

New York Giants: Daniel Jones is stepping into the Josh Allen role in Brian Daboll’s offense. Are we overlooking Jones’ top-3 upside at the position?

New York Jets: Michael Carter had a couple decent games last year. Can Breece Hall be counted on to overtake him on the depth chart?

Philadelphia Eagles: Will Philly fans riot and destroy the city because they won or because they lost?

Pittsburgh Steelers: Are there going to be any targets left over for Diontae Johnson after George Pickens, Pat Freiermuth, and Najee Harris get their turns?

San Francisco 49ers: Can Jeff Wilson handle the 27-per-game workload thrust upon him when Kyle Shanahan’s system obliterates every muscle fiber and tendon inside Elijah Mitchell, Trey Sermon, and Tyrion Davis-Price’s bodies?

Seattle Seahawks: How many packs of big league chew does Pete Carroll go through by week 6?

Tampa Bay Buccaneers: I doubted Tom Brady’s ability to be dominant at ages 36, 37, 38, 39, 40, 41, 42, 43, and 44. Can he still be good at 45?

Tennessee Titans: Do they have any video games for the backup running back to play while Derrick Henry gets 54 rush attempts per game?

Washington Commanders: What do they get more of – sexual misconduct allegations against Dan Snyder or wins?