Fantasy Gazette

America, USA – Vowing to never again view the National Football League after what they just watched, the nation’s youth assembled in thought Sunday afternoon after the Broncos took on the Rams on Nickelodeon.

“What the f*ck man,” said Brady S., age 9. “Nickelodeon is a bunch of hoes for that, making me see a washed Russell Wilson take on Baker Mayfield when I could be playing on my new PS5 I got for Christmas.”

“The Broncos are completely undisciplined due to lackluster coaching from Nathaniel Hackett,” said Madison F, aged 7. “The Rams have decimated their future by sacrificing draft picks, completely mismanaging the next decade of their squad for one Super Bowl. Pathetic. I’m going to go crochet now, and not watch the NFL ever again.”

“I’m watching the NHL now. Baker Mayfield is a little fraud bitch boy who peaked in college,” said Aiden R, aged 5.

It remains to be seen how significant this boycott will be on the NFLs revenue stream, but according to Nickelodeon focus groups, the current generation of youngsters “just want to see Juju Smith-Schuster and Justin Jefferson have a griddy competition for three straight hours,” one study found.