Fantasy Gazette

Fox Sports Commentator Skip Bayless made headlines Monday night when he advocated for the continuation of the pivotal Bills v Bengals clash after safety Damar Hamlin collapsed to the field. This opinion was posted on Twitter, the best place to put personal opinions on public matters if your IQ is a single digit. The professional screamer was immediately met with backlash from across the country. So much backlash, in fact, that a Kickstarter campaign to simply fire Bayless has now raised $9.1 billion dollars and counting. Kickstarter CEO Everett Taylor was shocked by the support such a strange request received. “Our tech people said the servers crashed 7 times last night, and my marketing team said this amount of money could fix like ten different countries’ problems. What the hell is wrong with y – wait, hang on, did you say Skip Bayless. F**k that guy, let’s shoot for 10 billion, everyone!”

FOX has been unable to be reached for comment, but we strongly believe that enough money to keep their network’s atrocious daytime programming alive for the next decade is enough to fire Bayless. It might even be enough to get them to fire Colin Cowherd.