Author Archives: theFantasyGazette

Aaron Rodgers Informs Jets Final Step To Acquiring Him Relocating Franchise To Upper Wisconsin

AP – Aaron Rodgers has informed the New York Jets that in addition to acquiring Allen Lazard, Randall Cobb, Marcedes Lewis, and Donald Driver the final domino will be moving the team’s headquarters and operations to northern Wisconsin. Once the move is done, and the franchise plays their games in Lambeau Field, Rodgers will finally be a Jet.

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Inclusion Win! ESPN Announces “Fantasy Football For Her” App

BRISTOL, CT – Slay queen! ESPN has announced beginning this fall a brand new fantasy football app for women: ESPN Fantasy For Her. Announced on International Women’s Day, the massive company believes this is a giant win moving forward for a new target demographic. “We’ve heard for years that the fantasy football space has been dominated by men,” said Nate

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Aaron Rodgers Ends Darkness Retreat After Just Six Minutes So He Can Listen To Joe Rogan’s Podcast

[LOCATION REDACTED] – Green Bay Packers star QB Aaron Rodgers has broken the “no technology” rule of his darkness retreat to watch the latest episode of “The Joe Rogan Experience” after just six minutes, sources say. Rodgers was supposed to stay in complete silence and darkness for an entire four days so he could decide on playing football again, as

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Racist Man At Super Bowl Party Just Hopes Woke ‘End Racism’ Slogan Won’t Get Too Much Air Time

Macon, GA – Local NFL boycotter Darren King was talking to friends at a Super Bowl party Sunday when he said he just hopes the FOX broadcast won’t show the “woke” end zone slogans too often, eyewitnesses said. “Eagles, Chiefs, whoever wins, I just pray to God those woke ‘End Racism’ end zone slogans aren’t on TV all day,” King

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Finally: This Dynasty Player’s Rebuild Will Officially Be Over In Just 15 More Years

Lexington, KY – It’s a beautiful time in any dynasty fantasy football player’s life: the moment they know their rebuild is over. Just ask Paul Forman, whose years of research and elaborate trades have prepared his dynasty team for a championship run no earlier than the year of our Lord 2038. “After sending away D’Andre Swift and Jaylen Waddle for

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BREAKING: Bengals Claim Arrowhead Scoreboard Was Rigged To Show Chiefs With Higher Final Score

KANSAS CITY, MO – The Cincinnati Bengals released a statement calling on the NFL to review the scoreboard at Arrowhead Stadium for showing Kansas City with a higher final score at the end of the AFC Championship Game. The team believes the NFL corroborated with the scoreboard technician. “Clearly, we believe that the orange section labelled Cincinnati should have the

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New Conspiracy Theory Claims Damar Hamlin Has Been Replaced By Avril Lavigne

BUFFALO, NY – A shocking new conspiracy theory has taken the internet by storm. Bills safety Damar Hamlin, who infamously suffered cardiac arrest on Monday Night Football earlier this year, was shown heavily covered up in a box suite during the Bills’ playoff clash with Cincinnati. Conspiracy theorists immediately and confidently took to their phones to point out that Hamlin

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Antonio Brown Tired Of Being Disrespected By Therapist

Following yet another shocking event in which he embarrassed or otherwise degraded himself, former NFL star wide receiver Antonio Brown spoke to reporters and saying he was tired of being disrespected by his therapist. “It gets really old when you’re just trying to live your life and this mental health dude you meet with every week starts telling you about

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