Category Archives: Player News

Aaron Rodgers Informs Jets Final Step To Acquiring Him Relocating Franchise To Upper Wisconsin

AP – Aaron Rodgers has informed the New York Jets that in addition to acquiring Allen Lazard, Randall Cobb, Marcedes Lewis, and Donald Driver the final domino will be moving the team’s headquarters and operations to northern Wisconsin. Once the move is done, and the franchise plays their games in Lambeau Field, Rodgers will finally be a Jet.

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Aaron Rodgers Ends Darkness Retreat After Just Six Minutes So He Can Listen To Joe Rogan’s Podcast

[LOCATION REDACTED] – Green Bay Packers star QB Aaron Rodgers has broken the “no technology” rule of his darkness retreat to watch the latest episode of “The Joe Rogan Experience” after just six minutes, sources say. Rodgers was supposed to stay in complete silence and darkness for an entire four days so he could decide on playing football again, as

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New Conspiracy Theory Claims Damar Hamlin Has Been Replaced By Avril Lavigne

BUFFALO, NY – A shocking new conspiracy theory has taken the internet by storm. Bills safety Damar Hamlin, who infamously suffered cardiac arrest on Monday Night Football earlier this year, was shown heavily covered up in a box suite during the Bills’ playoff clash with Cincinnati. Conspiracy theorists immediately and confidently took to their phones to point out that Hamlin

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Antonio Brown Tired Of Being Disrespected By Therapist

Following yet another shocking event in which he embarrassed or otherwise degraded himself, former NFL star wide receiver Antonio Brown spoke to reporters and saying he was tired of being disrespected by his therapist. “It gets really old when you’re just trying to live your life and this mental health dude you meet with every week starts telling you about

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Browns Fan Dies After Being Struck With Airborne Microsoft Surface Tablet

CLEVELAND, OH – Moments after a much-needed overtime victory against the Tampa Bay Buccaneers, Browns fans were innocently celebrating across FirstEnergy Stadium in Cleveland when a shocking tragedy struck. Jackson Worhauser, a 16-year-old seeing his very first Browns game, was drilled in the back of the head by a heat-seeking Microsoft Surface tablet that was errantly thrown from somewhere in

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One Burning Question For All 32 NFL Teams in 2022

Arizona Cardinals: How do Kyler Murray, Marquise Brown, and Rondale Moore plan to see each other over the offensive line? Atlanta Falcons: Which quarterback will make you regret drafting Kyle Pitts in the 3rd round? Baltimore Ravens: How many players will tear their ACL by the end of September this year? Buffalo Bills: Is Gabriel Davis amazing? Does he suck?

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Local Man Injects Training Camp Highlights Into His Veins, Dies

Olathe, KS – Tragic news broke out this morning as a local man was found dead in his mancave following a night of binging preseason NFL news and injecting training camp highlights into his veins. The man was identified as 34-year-old Doug Lynch, a diehard Kansas City Chiefs fan. Friends and neighbors say he was constantly refreshing sports news across

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Watch Out Cooper Kupp: Matthew Stafford And Allen Robinson Totally Made Out A Little Bit Last Night

Los Angeles, CA – Not long into Cooper Kupp’s monster 2021 performance, reports came out that the star receiver and his new quarterback had been hanging out and having breakfast together every day. The extra quality time clearly paid off, as Kupp became the latest “triple crown” winner, leading the league in receptions, receiving yards, and receiving touchdowns. But that

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Calvin Ridley Suspended Another Full Season After Betting On Deshaun Watson Trial Outcome

Disgraced Falcons WR Calvin Ridley has been suspended an additional season after leaks revealed he placed a large wager on the final outcome of Deshaun Watson’s trial and suspension. Ridley said he was “fully confident” the Browns new superstar Quarterback, whose allegations of sexual assault neared almost 30 (!!!) women, would get less than he did following a $1,500 parlay

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