Tag Archives: Chiefs

Andy Reid Catches Trout With His Bare Hands, Swallows It Whole

Kansas City Chiefs head coach Andy Reid pulled off an amazing feat this off-season, one perhaps even more impressive than his three Super Bowl championships. Reid was wading in a Montana river when he caught a Brook Trout with his bare hands, and then swallowed it whole. “I’ve been noodling for years, it’s a secret passion of mine,” said Reid.

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Eric Bieniemy Starting To Wonder If Leaving Juggernaut Chiefs Mid-Dynasty For Garbage Franchise Wasn’t Actually The Greatest Idea Anyone’s Ever Had

WASHINGTON – Commanders Offensive Coordinator Eric Bieniemy was kept in his role today by the team as they opted to hire Cowboys DC Dan Quinn as their next head coach. Bieniemy famously was passed over after his years helping run one of the greatest offensive units in NFL history, and decided bolting for Washington was his best chance to prove

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Kadarius Toney Truther Shaken After Finding Out His Career Highlight Reel Is Just 43 Seconds Long

ST. LOUIS, MO – Local fantasy football player Damon Brunswick was reportedly “shaken” and “disturbed” after a quick YouTube search led him to a video titled Kadarius Toney Career Highlight Reel (NEXT TYREEK HILL??) was a mere 0:43 seconds long. “Wait, wait…this can’t be right. Where’s the rest of it? This guy is supposed to be Patrick Mahomes’ new favorite

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BREAKING: Kadarius Toney Says His Social Media Was Hacked By Someone Who Talks And Acts Exactly Like Him

THE INTERNET – Chiefs WR Kadarius Toney said he was unfortunately hacked online Tuesday by someone who “talks and acts exactly like me, man. Shit crazy out here.” Toney’s account was reportedly sending lewd DMs to women the hacker deemed “ugly as a mf, dawg” and the hacker’s identical voice to Toney was heard saying Daniel Jones missed him on

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Man Who Was Wrong About Travis Kelce Being Too Old When Tight End Was 30, 31, 32, and 33 Confident He Will Fall Off At Age 34

PHILADELPHIA, PA – Local man and avid fantasy football player Ethan Cassidy recently told friends that he would be fading Travis Kelce this year for fantasy football purposes. He noted that the tight end, who he believed was a bad draft pick for each of the last four seasons due to his age, would be a bad draft pick this

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Racist Man At Super Bowl Party Just Hopes Woke ‘End Racism’ Slogan Won’t Get Too Much Air Time

Macon, GA – Local NFL boycotter Darren King was talking to friends at a Super Bowl party Sunday when he said he just hopes the FOX broadcast won’t show the “woke” end zone slogans too often, eyewitnesses said. “Eagles, Chiefs, whoever wins, I just pray to God those woke ‘End Racism’ end zone slogans aren’t on TV all day,” King

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BREAKING: Bengals Claim Arrowhead Scoreboard Was Rigged To Show Chiefs With Higher Final Score

KANSAS CITY, MO – The Cincinnati Bengals released a statement calling on the NFL to review the scoreboard at Arrowhead Stadium for showing Kansas City with a higher final score at the end of the AFC Championship Game. The team believes the NFL corroborated with the scoreboard technician. “Clearly, we believe that the orange section labelled Cincinnati should have the

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Benching Wrong Player On Fantasy Football Team Worst Thing That Has Ever Happened To Local Man

Omaha, NE – Local man Saul Davis was speaking to coworkers Monday morning about the weekend when eyetwitnesses said the avid fantasy football player was on the verge of tears speaking about his team. More specifically, a botched lineup decision regarding players in the Sunday Night Football contest: he benched Chargers WR Joshua Palmer (8 catches, 100 yards, and 2

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New Fantasy Football Player Who Has Only Ever Watched Bills/Chiefs Playoff Shootout Drafts Gabriel Davis With First Pick

AP – For the first time in his life, local man Gary Davenport has decided to play fantasy football. The district manager of his hometown Target was talked into his by his brother-in-law and their draft was held Friday night. Davenport was hardly able to research players in between stocking toilet paper and LEGO sets and managing which teenagers could

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