Lexington, KY – It’s a beautiful time in any dynasty fantasy football player’s life: the moment they know their rebuild is over. Just ask Paul Forman, whose years of research and elaborate trades have prepared his dynasty team for a championship run no earlier than the year of our Lord 2038. “After sending away D’Andre Swift and Jaylen Waddle for
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Harrisburg, PA: 39-year-old Kaela Yost was subconsciously rubbing her left thumb against her now naked ring finger. Her gaze wandered off outside where her former husband, Tim, was loading the last of his belongings into a rented Penske truck. Their children Teagan, Kaegan, and Braeden looked on disappointedly, the Yost family’s legacy completely tarnished. “I mean, seriously, five losses in a
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NORFOLK, VA – Local accountant and fantasy football player Christian Campbell told reporters Wednesday he was going to check his cell phone for a quick six hours to update and manage his fantasy football rosters. A quick check-in to see which waiver claims he successfully made overnight at approximately 10:00 am will last until “roughly 4:00 pm, give or take,”
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SOMEWHERE INSIDE A STARBUCKS – A man was arrested for public rosterbation while on his laptop by local police early Monday morning, but officials say the damage had already been done. The man, who plays the popular online game “fantasy football,” had his draft held the previous evening and was reportedly rosterbating inside the popular coffee chain’s doors. “It started
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DETROIT, MI – Local diehard Lions fan and “Hard Knocks” enjoyer Matthew Harvey was adamant to friends and family not to update him on the Lions final preseason game Sunday for fear he might see a spoiler of Tuesday night’s Hard Knocks episode. “By the time the episode airs, I plan to not be caught up with what’s about to
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AP – For the first time in his life, local man Gary Davenport has decided to play fantasy football. The district manager of his hometown Target was talked into his by his brother-in-law and their draft was held Friday night. Davenport was hardly able to research players in between stocking toilet paper and LEGO sets and managing which teenagers could
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Olathe, KS – Tragic news broke out this morning as a local man was found dead in his mancave following a night of binging preseason NFL news and injecting training camp highlights into his veins. The man was identified as 34-year-old Doug Lynch, a diehard Kansas City Chiefs fan. Friends and neighbors say he was constantly refreshing sports news across
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Canton, OH – Two fantasy football analysts are dead and at least seven more are injured after a well-known analyst recommended the ZeroRB draft strategy during a redraft panel at the 2022 Fantasy Football Expo. The analyst who started the riot, who will remain anonymous for their own safety, broke down an option players can use to wait until round
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“Brian,” a fantasy football enthusiast and Applebee’s server from Cincinnati, OH has been playing fantasy football for nearly 20 years. Tragically, he has accumulated exactly zero league championships. Brian had his best finish, 2nd place, in 2011 (he only lost because of injuries, league-mate collusion, a stupid scoring bonus for touchdowns of over 40 yards, forgetting it wasn’t TE premium
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Allentown, PA – Local dynasty fantasy football player Spike Daniels is reportedly seeking a trade for a younger girlfriend, sources confirmed. Spike is looking to move on from his girlfriend, 29-year-old Lisa Knight. The two had been going steady for a couple years when Daniels realized the clock was ticking for him to find a younger woman or stick with
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Fantasy Gazette 