Tag Archives: You

First-Time Fantasy Football Player Who Never Traded Or Used Waivers Or Set Lineup Since Week 3 Not Sure Where It All Went Wrong

Posted on by Leave a comment

Eugene, OR – Speaking to reporters Friday about his 109-45 defeat in the 11th place game in his fantasy football league, first-time contender Rick Eidelman stated he was completely caught off guard by the disappointing season. “Honestly, I thought my first season would be different,” Eidelman said disappointedly. “I did everything right. I studied for nine minutes before the draft,

Read more

Benching Wrong Player On Fantasy Football Team Worst Thing That Has Ever Happened To Local Man

Posted on by Leave a comment

Omaha, NE – Local man Saul Davis was speaking to coworkers Monday morning about the weekend when eyetwitnesses said the avid fantasy football player was on the verge of tears speaking about his team. More specifically, a botched lineup decision regarding players in the Sunday Night Football contest: he benched Chargers WR Joshua Palmer (8 catches, 100 yards, and 2

Read more

Local Man Takes Six-Hour Break From Work To Check On Fantasy Football Team

Posted on by Leave a comment

NORFOLK, VA – Local accountant and fantasy football player Christian Campbell told reporters Wednesday he was going to check his cell phone for a quick six hours to update and manage his fantasy football rosters. A quick check-in to see which waiver claims he successfully made overnight at approximately 10:00 am will last until “roughly 4:00 pm, give or take,”

Read more

10 Tips For Managing Emotions When Your Spouse Is Gone For The NFL Season

Posted on by Leave a comment

It’s a common occurrence for modern Americans: loved ones on deployment from September to February during the NFL season. Spouses of NFL fans are stuck at home, watching the time pass and trying to make the most of their spouse’s deployment to the couch. Here are 10 tips you can use to manage your negative emotions while your spouse is

Read more

Local Man Injects Training Camp Highlights Into His Veins, Dies

Posted on by Leave a comment

Olathe, KS – Tragic news broke out this morning as a local man was found dead in his mancave following a night of binging preseason NFL news and injecting training camp highlights into his veins. The man was identified as 34-year-old Doug Lynch, a diehard Kansas City Chiefs fan. Friends and neighbors say he was constantly refreshing sports news across

Read more

Two Dead, Seven Injured After Someone Recommends ZeroRB Draft Strategy At 2022 Fantasy Football Expo

Posted on by Leave a comment

Canton, OH – Two fantasy football analysts are dead and at least seven more are injured after a well-known analyst recommended the ZeroRB draft strategy during a redraft panel at the 2022 Fantasy Football Expo. The analyst who started the riot, who will remain anonymous for their own safety, broke down an option players can use to wait until round

Read more

Guy With Zero Fantasy Football Championships Starts Patreon

Posted on by Leave a comment

“Brian,” a fantasy football enthusiast and Applebee’s server from Cincinnati, OH has been playing fantasy football for nearly 20 years. Tragically, he has accumulated exactly zero league championships. Brian had his best finish, 2nd place, in 2011 (he only lost because of injuries, league-mate collusion, a stupid scoring bonus for touchdowns of over 40 yards, forgetting it wasn’t TE premium

Read more

Dynasty Player Hoping To Trade Girlfriend For Younger Girlfriend

Posted on by Leave a comment

Allentown, PA – Local dynasty fantasy football player Spike Daniels is reportedly seeking a trade for a younger girlfriend, sources confirmed. Spike is looking to move on from his girlfriend, 29-year-old Lisa Knight. The two had been going steady for a couple years when Daniels realized the clock was ticking for him to find a younger woman or stick with

Read more

Huge Malik Willis Fan Can’t Even Name 3 Of His Throws

Posted on by Leave a comment

Little Rock, AR – Local man and self-proclaimed Malik Willis “superfan” Jordan Belmont was enjoying a night out at Buffalo Wild Wings with his buddies and talking about the upcoming NFL Draft when a friend asked Belmont to name 3 of his favorite throws by Liberty QB Malik Willis, who was on Belmont’s t-shirt that very moment. “What?” he responded

Read more
« Older Entries