Fantasy Gazette

New York Jets quarterback Aaron Rodgers is coming off an atrocious game in a loss to the Vikings and a late, game-sealing INT against the division rival Buffalo Bills on Monday Night Football.

“Listen, this season is huge for everyone in the organization, and that includes everyone except me,” said Rodgers in his weekly press conference. “They made me throw 3 interceptions against the Vikings and another that lost us the Bills game. That just simply can’t happen coming from a professional like someone else in this building.”

Rodgers is also wary of how much new interim coach Jeff Ulbrich could screw things up for him.

“Look, Saleh was a disaster, we all know it, and he should have been fired long ago,” said Rodgers. “I said that every game except the Panthers and Titans wins. Lars Ulrich – or whatever his name is – should be fine until I decide he’s a problem.”

The Jets also demoted offensive coordinator Nathaniel Hackett and promoted Todd Downing to be the new OC. This suspiciously did not sit well with Rodgers.

“Hackett was my handpicked guy and now they give me this Robert Downey Jr. guy?” said Rodgers. “Never heard of him. These new coaches are just going to screw me up even more. To save the season, I’m going to need to throw two more coaches under the bus this week. That’s my focus right now.”

At press time, Rodgers blamed WR Mike Williams for tearing his ACL in 2023 “like an idiot” and costing the Jets draft picks to acquire Davante Adams.