Fantasy Gazette

It’s the kind of stuff that sends chills up your spine. A famous social media and fantasy football thread writer was left heavily disturbed and shaken when he looked at his latest content for the upcoming season and realized the sentences he wrote were left unbroken, and therefore considered a paragraph.

“No, no, this isn’t right,” said the thread artist. “My content is supposed to be individual sentences, each of them separated so I can trick the reader into thinking they don’t have to read a lot of stuff. This enormous block of text is going to look like War & Peace to my audience. 97% of them are going to be DESTROYED when they read this.”

To the unfamiliar, fantasy football threads contain an extremely catchy hook, then information with each sentence separated. “I have to make sure my hooks make my threads truly stand out,” the writer said. “That’s why I write them the exact same way every day at the same time of day and in perfect synchronization with the other major thread writers.”

That dream might come falling apart with the tragic news that his content has been written as a paragraph.

“Fantasy football writers used to make these things called…articles? I think they called them that. I might have pronounced that wrong. Basically you’d combine things like personal stories and helpful context, but that shit sucks. My readers want one random complicated stat that tell them to fade a wide receiver that has a 14th round ADP.”

It’s unsure where the thread writer will go from here, but he has an uphill battle if he wants to not lose his audience. At press time, the writer had consulted with his oldest mentor and main source of inspiration in the writing space for advice – ChatGPT.