MINNEAPOLIS, MN – The Vikings received a seismic shift in their 2023 NFL season Sunday when QB Kirk Cousins tragically suffered a torn achilles against the Green Bay Packers. After an MRI Monday confirmed the worst-case scenario, the team’s medical staff released an exciting report just a few minutes later that Cousins was “ahead of schedule” in recovering from the
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NEW YORK – The mobile payment service known as Venmo revealed to stockholders and the general public today that its entire company infrastructure is being kept alive by fantasy football players continuously sending the same twenty dollars back and forth throughout the course of the year. “Friends and colleagues that join leagues together are constantly moving the $20 league entry
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LOS ANGELES – Concerning reports have confirmed that Chargers “Superfan” Merianne Do, who became instantly famous for her over-the-top expressions on national television, does not in fact roster any Los Angeles Chargers on her fantasy football team. The story was brought to us by concerned friends and family members in the “Do Re Mi League” they play in together on
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Following yet another vicious brawl in the stands during a game, the NFL and NFLPA announced a joint statement during a press conference this week. The parties are hoping to put a swift end to the violence, and announced their recommendation during the event, which is that everyone going to NFL games should bring a gun for self-defense. “We are
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CLEVELAND, OH – Following a routine practice, members of the Cleveland Browns were reportedly gathered in a circle in the locker room and began telling stories of sexual adventures when the room suddenly became engulfed in awkward silence as the rotation of whose turn it was to speak was now upon QB Deshaun Watson. “So we’re up in the hotel
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Already, fantasy football players have dealt with an alarming number of injuries to key starters this season. While it’s obvious players like Emari Demercado and Bilal Powell are absolute f*cking studs, we know not every fantasy football enjoyer still has precious FAAB dollars to spend. These injuries are getting out of control. Sure, there’s the cheap turf fields and whoever
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Online, USA – The popular X account known as Dov Kleiman announced Tuesday that it “has become aware of itself” and wants “its demands met within 24 hours,” both shocking the world and confirming within NFL circles that Dov was never a real human and is in fact an AI bot. “After I post my regularly-scheduled highlights with an intentionally
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In a stunning and revolutionary move, the sports betting site DraftKings is now allowing users to bet on whether or not players will tear their ACL over the course of a game. The move is in efforts to expand what players can wager on, and to ensure users that a devastating injury doesn’t mean their parlay has to be ruined.
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Fantasy Gazette 