Fantasy Gazette

LOS ANGELES – Concerning reports have confirmed that Chargers “Superfan” Merianne Do, who became instantly famous for her over-the-top expressions on national television, does not in fact roster any Los Angeles Chargers on her fantasy football team. The story was brought to us by concerned friends and family members in the “Do Re Mi League” they play in together on ESPN. “We want to first say how disappointed we have been in the positive attention Merianne has gotten in the news,” said her slightly less attractive sister. “She doesn’t love the Chargers as much as the rest of us and totally stole Jeremy Plathowitz from me when we were in high school but won’t admit it.” Members of her family echoed the sentiment and that her fantasy football team showed that she was nothing less than a fraud and a liar. “She could have taken Keenan Allen in the early third. Sure, it would have slightly been a reach and he was projected to be available at the 4/5 turn but the decision to go for Amon-Ra St. Brown instead showed a lack of true Chargers fandom,” said her mother. When we arrived at the Do house unannounced for the story, an unpaid intern was able to circle around her residence and see Merianne frantically trying to add Joshua Kelley off the waiver wire when she noticed our camera crew sprinting up to the house. Too late, Merianne. Too late. Your measly 11% best ball exposure of Gerald Everett can’t save you from our hard-nosed journalism this time.