Monthly Archives: November 2023

NFL Team With Bad Players And Front Office And Owner And Scouting And Playcalling And Record And Reputation Finally Fixes Everything By Firing Head Coach

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AP – An NFL Franchise known for its mediocrity across nearly every possible facet has turned a new leaf by ruthlessly firing their head coach, sources say. The team has an abysmal record to go along with poor players, below-average front office personnel, predictable playcalling, lack of fan enthusiasm, and pretty much every other thing a team could have go

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God Announces He Forgot To Turn Down Injury Sliders For NFL Season

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HEAVEN – God, the omnipotent being responsible for the creation of the universe and its inhabitants, revealed in a statement to the press that he forgot to turn down the injury sliders for the current NFL year. “Yeah, guys, this one’s on me,” said the almighty father. “I was messing with some settings to try and make the season more

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Update: Joshua Dobbs Learning How To Play Chess – Update: Joshua Dobbs Has Now Mastered Chess

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MINNEAPOLIS, MN – Just a few minutes after telling his teammates he had never played chess and would be interested in learning about it, Vikings QB Joshua Dobbs had reportedly mastered the game of chess. “Wait, what the hell just happened,” said WR Brandon Powell after losing to Dobbs in under 30 moves. “I literally was the one who introduced

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NFL Network Debuts New RedZone Stream That Just Shows Viewer’s Fantasy Players Scoring Touchdowns Over And Over

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CULVER CITY, CA – NFL Network is introducing a new subscription-based streaming feature that will just show a given user’s fantasy players repeatedly scoring touchdowns. “NFL Premium w/RedZone Gold is going to be a smash hit,” said Brian Rolapp, CEO. “Our users might enjoy our constant overstimulation of games and highlights on RedZone, but it has a massive flaw at

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EXCLUSIVE: NFL Script Leaked; Kyler Murray And Deshaun Watson “Enemies-To-Lovers” Romantic Subplot To Begin This Sunday

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The NFL has big plans for the game in Cleveland this weekend, a source close to the situation told the Gazette. The Arizona Cardinals are facing Browns this Sunday and both teams had quarterback uncertainty this week. According to our source, these “injuries” were staged as part of a larger plot. Kyler Murray and Deshaun Watson are young, talented, and

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Jimmy Garoppolo Vows To Mew Even Harder To Regain Starting Role

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LAS VEGAS, NV – After the Las Vegas Raiders recently announced rookie QB Aidan O’Connell would be their starter moving forward, Jimmy Garoppolo has come forward to state he is going to mew “harder than ever before” to regain the starting position. For the unfamiliar, “mewing” is a new internet craze in which you alter the position of your tongue

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Arthur Smith Reveals Fantasy Football Killed His Parents

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Atlanta Falcons head coach Arthur Smith found himself in a familiar position after the team’s loss this past Sunday: answering for his questionable coaching decisions at the podium. Consistently, Smith has failed to utilize highly-drafted stars on an offense that now ranks in the bottom 5 in points. Smith has most infamously dodged critiques and made derisive comments at one

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