Fantasy Gazette

QB Jameis Winston has unfortunately stared directly at the 2024 Solar Eclipse without protective glasses on and has blinded himself, according to reports. The previously-blind QB got LASIK in 2020 (although recent data suggests that may have been in connection with the 2017 Solar Eclipse) and was enjoying seeing the full color spectrum and details in the world until today. Against the warnings of his friends, family, and agent, Winston stared at the moon’s covering of the sun outside his new home in Cleveland, Ohio and has now reverted back to a blind state of playing the game of football. A source close to Winston says he had been listening to an increasing number of Aaron Rodgers’ appearances on the Pat McAfee show and was concerned that the eclipse would radiate a dangerous amount of coronavirus particles into the air. At press time, Winston had thrown his ninth interception to Denzel Ward despite Ward being on a stationary bike outside of the practice field while Winston worked on routes with WR Amari Cooper.