Fantasy Gazette

Week 6 in the NFL gave us another 12-hour block of insurance commercials and political ads, with some football action mixed in. Here are the official Fantasy Gazette headlines from Week 6 of the 2024 NFL season.

Travis Etienne Outscored By Famous Cartoon Dog “Scooby-Doo”

Jags running back Travis Etienne  surely caused anger and consternation among many fantasy managers after he scored negative fantasy points on Sunday. For reference, here are some people who had better weeks than Etienne: Anthony Richardson, Christian McCaffery, Herschel Walker, Doak Walker, JJ Walker, Walker Texas Ranger, Jim Thorpe, Otto Graham, Billy Graham, Graham Chapman, John Cleese, Charlie Brown, Lucy Van Pelt, Scooby Doo, and Bobby Boucher.

Jaguars Fire Doug Pederson’s Visor

A week after the Jets called it quits with Robert Saleh, the Jaguars follow by firing Pederson’s visor and replacing it with an entire hat. Jags owner Shad Khan said the team needed a shakeup after its 1-5 start, plus he hated the sight of Pederson’s shock of silver hair sticking up behind the visor. Khan also warned Pederson that if the Jaguars miss the playoffs Pederson will be forced to wear a turban in 2025. The visor landed on its proverbial feet by signing a three-year deal with the LPGA.

Mike McDanielCarthyDonald Watch

It was another bad week for coach Mike McDanielCarthyDonald after fusing their bodies together and going 0-3. Technically, McDaniel had a bye week, but he would have lost if he had played so I’m just giving him an L. Meanwhile, coach Sean McVayDermott had a bye week AND is playing Monday night against the Jets.

Optimus Time

The Browns suffered another injury at running back as Jerome Ford, who replaced the injured Nick Chubb, went down with a hamstring injury in a loss to the Eagles. The Browns are moving into the future by replacing their Ford with a Tesla Optimus robot. According to a report, Deshaun Watson had later inquired about the “physical capabilities” of the bot.

Here We Don’t

The Dallas Cowboys were booed by their home fans during their embarrassing 47-9 loss to the Lions on Sunday. It got so bad for Cowboys quarterback Dak Prescott that he was heard groaning a grammatically incorrect “Here We Don’t” before snapping the ball instead of his trademark “Here We Go.”

Ridley Wins Parlay

Tennessee Titans receiver Calvin Ridley had 0 catches on 8 targets for 0.9 fantasy points in a pathetic performance that surely caused many fantasy managers to drink or overeat. But Ridley won his parlay as he took himself under 1 catch and the local Kemps Ridley Sea Turtle to lay more than 4 clutches of eggs (+950).

Win-Win for Brady, Fans

NFL owners will vote Tuesday on whether or not they will allow NFL on Fox announcer Tom Brady to become part owner of the Las Vegas Raiders. If he is approved as part owner, Brady would be severely limited in his commentary during games on Fox, so it’s a win-win for all involved.