Category Archives: Uncategorized

NFL Team With Bad Players And Front Office And Owner And Scouting And Playcalling And Record And Reputation Finally Fixes Everything By Firing Head Coach

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AP – An NFL Franchise known for its mediocrity across nearly every possible facet has turned a new leaf by ruthlessly firing their head coach, sources say. The team has an abysmal record to go along with poor players, below-average front office personnel, predictable playcalling, lack of fan enthusiasm, and pretty much every other thing a team could have go

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NFL Network Debuts New RedZone Stream That Just Shows Viewer’s Fantasy Players Scoring Touchdowns Over And Over

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CULVER CITY, CA – NFL Network is introducing a new subscription-based streaming feature that will just show a given user’s fantasy players repeatedly scoring touchdowns. “NFL Premium w/RedZone Gold is going to be a smash hit,” said Brian Rolapp, CEO. “Our users might enjoy our constant overstimulation of games and highlights on RedZone, but it has a massive flaw at

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EXCLUSIVE: NFL Script Leaked; Kyler Murray And Deshaun Watson “Enemies-To-Lovers” Romantic Subplot To Begin This Sunday

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The NFL has big plans for the game in Cleveland this weekend, a source close to the situation told the Gazette. The Arizona Cardinals are facing Browns this Sunday and both teams had quarterback uncertainty this week. According to our source, these “injuries” were staged as part of a larger plot. Kyler Murray and Deshaun Watson are young, talented, and

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Arthur Smith Reveals Fantasy Football Killed His Parents

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Atlanta Falcons head coach Arthur Smith found himself in a familiar position after the team’s loss this past Sunday: answering for his questionable coaching decisions at the podium. Consistently, Smith has failed to utilize highly-drafted stars on an offense that now ranks in the bottom 5 in points. Smith has most infamously dodged critiques and made derisive comments at one

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Venmo Reveals Entire Company Kept Alive By Fantasy Football Players Sending $20 Back And Forth

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NEW YORK – The mobile payment service known as Venmo revealed to stockholders and the general public today that its entire company infrastructure is being kept alive by fantasy football players continuously sending the same twenty dollars back and forth throughout the course of the year. “Friends and colleagues that join leagues together are constantly moving the $20 league entry

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Busted: Chargers “Superfan” Doesn’t Have A Single Charger On Her Fantasy Football Team

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LOS ANGELES – Concerning reports have confirmed that Chargers “Superfan” Merianne Do, who became instantly famous for her over-the-top expressions on national television, does not in fact roster any Los Angeles Chargers on her fantasy football team. The story was brought to us by concerned friends and family members in the “Do Re Mi League” they play in together on

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Uh Oh: Browns Players Telling Stories Of Sexual Adventures Realizes It Almost Deshaun Watson’s Turn

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CLEVELAND, OH – Following a routine practice, members of the Cleveland Browns were reportedly gathered in a circle in the locker room and began telling stories of sexual adventures when the room suddenly became engulfed in awkward silence as the rotation of whose turn it was to speak was now upon QB Deshaun Watson. “So we’re up in the hotel

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Increase In NFL “Injuries” Actually Because Medical Tent Has Lollipops

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Already, fantasy football players have dealt with an alarming number of injuries to key starters this season. While it’s obvious players like Emari Demercado and Bilal Powell are absolute f*cking studs, we know not every fantasy football enjoyer still has precious FAAB dollars to spend. These injuries are getting out of control. Sure, there’s the cheap turf fields and whoever

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Oh No: The AI Bot Running The Dov Kleiman Account Has Become Sentient And Is Making Demands

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Online, USA – The popular X account known as Dov Kleiman announced Tuesday that it “has become aware of itself” and wants “its demands met within 24 hours,” both shocking the world and confirming within NFL circles that Dov was never a real human and is in fact an AI bot. “After I post my regularly-scheduled highlights with an intentionally

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Giants List Daniel Jones As Questionable For Week 4 After Whatever Happens To Him Tonight

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NEW YORK, NY – In preparation for “whatever happens to him tonight,” the Giants have taken a step of precaution and are listing starting QB Daniel Jones as questionable to play in Week 4. “We know there’s a significant chance those 49ers beat the everloving shit out of him on national television tonight,” said Brian Daboll. “It’s just best to

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