Fantasy Gazette

GREEN BAY, WI – Packers’ WR Christian Watson has been elite when healthy, but too often his early career has been overshadowed by nagging leg injuries. This was exacerbated last night when Watson pulled his hamstring while running in a dream.

“It was like any other dream,” said Watson. “There I was, running away from the Stay-Puft Marshmallow Man from Ghostbusters so I can make it to my algebra test on time. Except this time I felt something pop.”

Watson said he made the crucial mistake of not stretching in his dream before he began the fateful dash. Plus, the dream-induced hallucinations only made the running that much more risky. “You wouldn’t have stretched either if you suddenly found yourself being hunted down by Big Whitey.”

Packers HC Matt LaFleur said they’ve been here before with Watson, and feel confident in their rehabilitation process.

“[Christian] pulls his hammy while dreaming all the time,” said LaFleur. “Was he running away from Freddy Kreuger or Hannibal Lecter this time? Wait, what? You’re kidding. From Ghostbusters?! We’ve got to get him to stop watching movies late at night.”

At press time, the Packers said they are expecting Watson to miss 6-8 REM cycles, and don’t expect any more nighttime injuries, provided that Watson cancels his MAX account and switches to Junie B. Jones books for his pre-bedtime entertainment.

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