Fantasy Gazette

DETROIT, MI – Lions standout WR Amon-Ra St. Brown has always had a chip on his shoulder, and now, he’s added one to another body part. St. Brown has famous never taken his selection in the 4th round of the 2021 draft lightly, and now he has a permanent way of reminding himself and others of the 16 WRs that were drafted ahead of him: by tattooing each of their names across his left ass cheek. Amon-Ra was in good spirits walking out of the parlor where a convoy of reporters were waiting for him. “I never wanted to forget the disrespect the NFL handed me that weekend,” St. Brown said, sliding the elastic band of his Lions-blue shorts down to reveal a tattoo that began with Ja’Marr Chase, Bengals. “These men’s names have always lit a fire under me metaphorically, and right now they are lighting a fire under me literally, because this ass tattoo f**king hurt. I told them not to numb me at all, too, so I could relive the pain. Sh*t, I think I need to lie down.” At press time, St. Brown was standing in front of his bathroom mirror, spun halfway around from the waist up so he could finally have a way to view, memorize, and recite the entire list backwards.