Fantasy Gazette

BUFFALO, NY – Superstar wideout Stefon Diggs has been vocal over time about his frustrations in Buffalo, announcing today that his main priority is to be a huge whiny bitch of a man in a significantly more interesting city, preferably outside of upstate New York. “I’m over Buffalo, man,” Diggs said in a tweet. “The playoff losses sting even more when you try to hit the strip clubs and everyone’s wearing snow boots.” Diggs has notoriously yelled at quarterback Josh Allen on the sidelines of intense games for not receiving the ball more. Allen has said that Diggs usually apologizes and blames the outburst on jealousy from watching receivers like Jaylen Waddle and Keenan Allen party it up in Miami and LA. “I’d even settle for Baltimore at this point. Getting robbed at gunpoint on my way home from the stadium is more fun than yet another team outing to Niagara Falls or Dave & Buster’s.” At press time, Diggs had met with the Bills front office and let them know he prefers to be traded to a team whose city features at least 3 of the following 5 amenities: a beach, a Six Flags establishment, an outdoor shopping mall you can visit during winter, two or more Twin Peaks establishment, and hoes.