Fantasy Gazette

OUTSIDE THE PEARLY GATES – Recently deceased Hall Of Fame running back O.J. Simpson is currently unable to be sent to hell by God’s angels as he is evading all of their tackles, according to sources. The former Bills legend and troubled character is using a series of well-executed jukes, spins, and stiffarms to send Gabriel, Michael, and others tumbling to the ground. The angels were entirely unprepared for Simpson’s newfound energy in the afterlife and are currently regrouping to devise a strategy to catch Simpson and send him to the depths of hell for his sins. At press time, Simpson had yet again evaded God’s wrath with a one-cut move that put himself and Aaron Hernandez up 21-10 on Team Heaven.