Eagles Install Shock Collar At 1 Yard Line For Saquon Barkley
The Philadelphia Eagles have installed a shock collar at the 1 yard line, ensuring Saquon Barkley cannot safely pass it.
Read moreMonthly Archives: May 2024
Christian Watson Pulls Hamstring In Dream He Had Last Night
GREEN BAY, WI – Packers’ WR Christian Watson has been elite when healthy, but too often his early career has been overshadowed by nagging leg injuries. This was exacerbated last night when Watson pulled his hamstring while running in a dream.
Read moreHoly Mother Of God I’m Going To Cum: Unpressured Quarterback Completes Pass To Unguarded Wide Receiver
During a routine pass/catch drill this week, Cardinals QB Kyler Murray was handed a ball by an assistant coach with absolutely no defensive pressure and threw a medium-energy pass to rookie WR Marvin Harrison, Jr – who hauled in the pass without dropping it.
Read moreNew ‘Game of Thrones’ Sequel To Be Set In Chiefs Kingdom
Max has announced a new Game Of Thrones sequel set in the Chiefs Kingdom.
Read moreCarolina Panthers Relocating To Wakanda
Following a secret initiative to relocate one of the NFL’s saddest franchises, the Carolina Panthers have officially been approved for a relocation to the fictional country of Wakanda.
Read moreBrock Purdy Tries To Memorize Every Player Drafted Before Him, Dies From Brain Aneurysm
49ers QB Brock Purdy has died from a brain aneurysm after trying to memorize every player drafted before him in the 2022 NFL Draft.
Read moreDavid Tepper Mistakenly Hires Jonah Hill After Watching “Moneyball”
CHARLOTTE, NC – Panthers owner David Tepper, recently in the limelight for questionable decisions and antics, has hired a new analytical “wizkid” after he watched the 2011 sports film Moneyball: actor Jonah Hill. “The Oakland baseball club was really able to turn things around despite having bad players and a small market,” Tepper said. “So I did some searching on
Read moreTreylon Burks First Ever Player With Negative Point Value On KeepTradeCut.com
Titans WR Treylon Burks has become the first NFL player in history with a negative point value on KeepTradeCut.com
Read moreKevin Hart Found Dead With Football-Shaped Hole In Chest
LOS ANGELES, CA – Comedian and actor Kevin Hart was reportedly found dead Monday morning with a football-shaped hole in the middle of his chest, according to LAPD.
Read moreBill Belichick Now Sith Lord
Former Patriots coach Bill Belichick has officially converted to the dark side of the force and is now a Sith Lord, a recent report suggests.
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