Fantasy Gazette

LOS ANGELES, CA – Comedian and actor Kevin Hart was reportedly found dead Monday morning with a football-shaped hole in the middle of his chest, according to LAPD.

Hart hosted Netflix’s live “Greatest Roast Of All Time” – the official roast of Tom Brady. Hart and the panel of athletes and celebrities gave Brady their best jokes, from his time with New England to his off-the-field marital problems. Truly nothing was off the table, and suspiciously Hart has now been found dead shortly after the event.

“It looks like a regulation size NFL football had been slightly deflated and then struck numerous times into Hart’s chest cavity,” the toxicologist told Fantasy Gazette. “I’d say around midnight, someone entered Hart’s hotel room and threw a tremendous amount of on-time and on-target throws at a high velocity until Hart died.”

Also found at the scene of the crime were a Super Bowl 55 championship ring, a copy of “The TB12 method,” a Dunkin Donuts coffee cup, and blood that DNA matched to Jeff Ross. Police say the killer is still at large and the murder is a complete mystery.