Fantasy Gazette

LOS ANGELES, CA – The Los Angeles Chargers entire roster has been infected with a strain of an aggressive cold and will miss today’s practice, per source. However, this does not include WR Quentin Johnston. After the sinus/respiratory illness swept through the organization, Johnston was simply unable to catch the cold his teammates did. “Just couldn’t reel this one in,” said Johnston while warming up completely alone on the Chargers’ practice field. “I was in the right position but didn’t finish strong – I’ll get the next cold,” he said. Johnston’s WR peers Joshua Palmer and D.J. Chark were able to routinely haul in the cold, rookie Ladd McConkey also showed up the struggling big-bodied wideout by being one of the first members to call in sick from practice. At press time, Johnston had finished practice and checked his phone to 5 voicemails from Tinder women he was currently ghosting after failing to catch feelings for any of them.