Fantasy Gazette

CLEVELAND, OH – Earlier Monday morning during a routine Magnetic Resonance Imaging procedure, a Phillips 1.5T Achieva MRI machine claimed that patient Deshaun Watson had pressured it to scan his leg further up than the Achilles tendon it was originally asked to look at. The machine, which had just newly broken into the magnetic imaging profession, said Watson told it shortly after beginning the scan that the Achilles tendon pain was rapidly spreading up his thigh to his groin, and that would need taken care of if the machine wanted to make it in the profession. At press time, another MRI machine broke its silence that Watson was visibly erect during a routine shoulder scan in 2023.