Tag Archives: nfl

OPINION: Caleb Williams Is Not Manly Enough For The NFL, And Also I Am Not A Closeted Homosexual

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Let’s not mince words. Caleb Williams is soft. He is a weak, effeminate, gorgeous Gen-Z snowflake who will be an outcast in an NFL locker room. Real NFL players will be completely put off by his unconventional sex appeal. And I say this as someone who is not a closeted homosexual. Caleb Williams makes me uncomfortable. Any time I see

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NFL Teams Worried About Wide Receiver They Hoped To Draft After Personality Exam Reveals He’s Normal

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Following a series of personality exams on an upcoming rookie Wide Receiver that revealed he was a normal guy, NFL teams across the league were unanimously skeptical of the player’s ability to blossom into stardom at the next level. The testing, which included: cognitive functions, the SAT, 1-on-1 interviews, watching them play Grand Theft Auto, and personality exams, revealed that

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Frustrated Stefon Diggs Just Wants To Be Huge Whiny Bitch In More Interesting City

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BUFFALO, NY – Superstar wideout Stefon Diggs has been vocal over time about his frustrations in Buffalo, announcing today that his main priority is to be a huge whiny bitch of a man in a significantly more interesting city, preferably outside of upstate New York. “I’m over Buffalo, man,” Diggs said in a tweet. “The playoff losses sting even more

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Los Angeles Chargers Hoping To Hire New Coach Who Can Find Revolutionary And Creative Ways To Destroy Franchise

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LOS ANGELES, CA – The Los Angeles Chargers officially parted ways with Head Coach Brandon Staley following a 63-21 loss on Thursday Night Football during a divisional clash in Las Vegas. The loss was the last straw for Staley, whose tenure will be remembered by a mismanaged “win-and-in” situation in 2021, a blown 27-point lead to the Jaguars in the

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Voters Unanimously Agree Brock Purdy Not Cool Enough To Win MVP Award

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AP – During a routine gathering of eligible NFL MVP Award voters yesterday, the entire group was discussing different criteria and margins for winning the prestigious award, in which they unanimously and aggressively stated that 49ers’ QB Brock Purdy wasn’t, and never will be, cool enough to win the Most Valuable Player trophy. “When looking at the options of players

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EXCLUSIVE: NFL Script Leaked; Kyler Murray And Deshaun Watson “Enemies-To-Lovers” Romantic Subplot To Begin This Sunday

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The NFL has big plans for the game in Cleveland this weekend, a source close to the situation told the Gazette. The Arizona Cardinals are facing Browns this Sunday and both teams had quarterback uncertainty this week. According to our source, these “injuries” were staged as part of a larger plot. Kyler Murray and Deshaun Watson are young, talented, and

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Arthur Smith Reveals Fantasy Football Killed His Parents

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Atlanta Falcons head coach Arthur Smith found himself in a familiar position after the team’s loss this past Sunday: answering for his questionable coaching decisions at the podium. Consistently, Smith has failed to utilize highly-drafted stars on an offense that now ranks in the bottom 5 in points. Smith has most infamously dodged critiques and made derisive comments at one

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Orgies, Rituals, and Fantasy Drafts: Inside One Town’s Shocking NFL Festival

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The NFL season opens this week and fans are anxiously anticipating the return to play. This is especially true for fantasy football players, whose lives are meaningless in the absence of NFL games. With the meteoric rise in popularity of fantasy football in the US over the last few years, Americans have become increasingly dependent on the NFL for joy

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