Fantasy Gazette

Following a series of personality exams on an upcoming rookie Wide Receiver that revealed he was a normal guy, NFL teams across the league were unanimously skeptical of the player’s ability to blossom into stardom at the next level.

The testing, which included: cognitive functions, the SAT, 1-on-1 interviews, watching them play Grand Theft Auto, and personality exams, revealed that the much-hyped WR was not a psychopath, sociopath, or narcissistic. This is a crucial blow to his draft stock, as he was projected to go in the first round in this year’s draft.

“This was worst-case scenario. Everyone knows wide receivers need to be prima donnas at their core, and have a hyperfragile ego that eventually damages everything they touch. He is no Odell Beckham, Jr. and he’s certainly no Antonio Brown. This regular-ass guy could never execute a post route with two high safeties. That’s a route best run by a schizophrenic,” said a GM.

Tragically, news that the college superstar treats friends and family respectfully and has never had a domestic dispute with any prior girlfriends means he will likely never eclipse a 100-catch or 1300-yard season. Worse, they’ll never become a nightmare on the sidelines when they catch 8 passes instead of the 9 they needed to feel good about themselves.

Players like Stefon Diggs are famous for exploding into a maniacal tantrum on the sidelines of key games for seemingly no good reason and then forcing their way out of a successful franchise. Great WRs are also never allowed to date teammates’ girlfriends or trustworthy enough to pick their children up from school.

“It’s the key mark of a superstar WR in our game,” an anonymous scout said. “To succeed as a NFL wide receiver, you must have what we call The Big 3: Elite Athleticism, Cryptic Tweeting, and an Official DSM-5 Diagnosis. This prospect has never once tweeted a confusing emoji with no context after a playoff loss. We’re out.”

At press time, the wide receiver was removed off NFL draft boards entirely when a devastating news leak showed his parents had a thriving marriage of 25 years and had never once sold crack (OR heroine) to make ends meet.